Milestones Don’t Make a Life
Milestones are not what make up your life or your relationships. They don’t determine whether you have a good life, have lived a good life, or have meaningful, close, quality relationships. They aren’t tied to happiness either. The in-between moments are.
In life, it looks like volunteering your time, taking in the sun, going for a walk with no destination, swimming or floating, riding a bike with the wind against you, tending to a plant and noticing new growth, opening a window and letting fresh air in, the sounds of nature, putting pencil or pen to paper, trying something new, reading a book, exercising, meditating or simply breathing, being present in beautiful moments, overcoming fears, dancing when the music finds you or when good food does, being generous with your time, your energy, your presence, spreading hope in small ways, offering kindness with no strings attached, teaching something valuable where you can, creating something unique, giving things away or sharing them, making something for someone, laughing or smiling to yourself, resting when you need to.
In relationships, it looks like hugging your sibling or friend a little longer than usual, helping a loved one through a hard time and reminding them they’re not alone, holding hands, walking or sitting side by side in comfortable silence, having meaningful conversations, even the difficult ones to deepen a bond. It’s kissing your significant other, saying “I love you,” saying “I miss you”, sharing a good meal, checking in just to say “I was thinking of you,” remembering the small details, showing up again and again. It’s dancing together in the kitchen, doing each other’s hair or makeup or nails, encouraging someone to get out of their comfort zone, giving your undivided attention, being honest, letting people in, emotionally regulating yourself for the good of others, being a cheerleader, standing up for people, offering grace and patience when it would be easier not to, celebrating each other’s individualism and identity, complimenting someone or yourself, healing your inner child and prioritizing your health and your own self care, because that, too, is an important relationship.
There’s a reason the word disillusioned exists. We’re conditioned to believe milestones measure a successful life or relationship. But the truth is quieter than that, and softer. The sooner we slow down and realize it, the clearer life becomes and we can shift our focus to what truly matters, because at the end of this life, that’s all we have.
♥️
With love,
Desiree